My name is Josh, Death is breathing down my neck. My insides are a ticking time bomb.

Any girl in Europe looking for a live-in boyfriend-person? I’ll clean up after you, cook, be the best boyfriend, cuddle, write you songs and poems, sex stuff, buy you pizza, watch netflix with you, be big spoon, go shopping with you for hours on end, really anything. Anything. By josh

A Sweet Lullaby

"Sing me a song."

"I don’t sing songs. That’s your thing."

"I don’t care. Sing me a song."

"No, I don’t sing for anybody. I don’t like my voice."

"I’m not anybody. I’m your sunshine, remember? And I love your voice. So sing me a song, please. It’s only fair."

She sighed and looked at me with her brilliant, piercing green eyes. I’d won. I never won. But this time, she’d just been fishing for compliments. She wanted me to ask, and beg, and plead, but she was going to sing for me no matter what. My little siren. She reached for my hand and started collecting her breath. She closed her eyes and softly opened her lips to let out a lullaby…

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It’s been a year since you left, and to me it has felt like a complete lifetime. I am halfway across the world, in the city you love so much. In the city where I planned to ask you if you’d be okay with waking up next to me for the rest of our lives. And I’m doing better. I’m doing so much better than I thought I would be. I met some new people, they keep me busy, going from monument to monument. Trying to find what you love so much, and I think that I might be starting to see it. And I am laughing, I am enjoying myself. But from time to time, you wander in. I still miss you. I still love you. We decide to have a traditional Parisian dinner. I order all the weird things on the menu, the things you would have been curious to try, the things that you would have asked me to get so you could get some but completely isolated from the risk that they might taste horrible. And I do it naturally. I do it cause that’s what I would have done. Even in your absence, you still shape my choices. And I’m fine. I’m dandy. I’m making people laugh, I’m interacting. Remember how at one point that used to be so incredibly hard for me? I am talking to people I’ve known for 2 days as if they’ve been my friends for years. I am following around a couple of girls cause I find them terribly endearing, in a way I haven’t found anyone endearing in a while. And you were wrong when you said people just didn’t like, when you said I was terrible. Some of the people find me interesting, and I wonder how I lost your attention. I wonder what made me so replaceable. But if we’re being honest with each other, you’re not really that much in my mind. Not really. I’m thinking of the Metro, of going to the Louvre. I’m thinking of sneaking off at night, while everyone else sleeps to walk down dark alleys. To get to know the city personally. I’m thinking of sleeping 2 hours a night. I’m plotting routes from the hotel to the river and back. The two older men, the ones with the guitar and accordion, come back into the room. They’ve been playing songs all night, providing a pleasant background for all the strange, homely conversation we’ve been having. They start to play our song, they start to play your song and all the walls I’ve built since you left come crashing down.

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"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
So please don’t take
My sunshine
Away


The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
And I held
My head
And cried

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine
Away

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take
My sunshine
Away.”

That was beautiful, I love it.”

"No it wasn’t. You only say that cause you love me. But you’ll get bored of me."

"I could never get bored of you. I love you. I’ll always love you."

I love you so much, I decide when you sit there after the song. I never thought I would find you. I don’t think I will ever leave your side. I hope you never leave mine.

I’m a messy lover. You should have known it by the way I called you at 4 in the morning to remind you that I loved you. I was drunk, and even then, even then I thought of you. My hands were shaking, I was sitting at a street corner and you asked me to go home. I showed up at your doorstep, stumbling, slurred words, and nothing. Nothing good enough for you to ask me to stay. You asked me to leave and I smiled, I kissed you and I left that night. I never called you back again, and I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for loving you that way. You didn’t deserve it. By thewordsyouneverunderstood (via thewordsyouneverunderstood)